ITV is considering Scarlett Moffatt as co-host for Saturday Night Takeaway. They are just not sure how to explain that she cannot take it away or ea ...
Women are like hairdryers. They can blow hot and cold. And men don’t generally need them.
2 scousers in a restraurant one says
"What u havin" "well I'm not avin dat
Venison dats dead deer"his mate says
"Well ave d mutton dats dead she ...
Bread is like the Sun. It rises in the Yeast and sets in the Waist.
Teacher: “Now then class, can anyone tell me what the roman numerals XXXL mean?”
Little Johnny: “Gemma Collins dress size, Miss.”
NEWS: Russia behind hacking of Toys Я Us logo
The kids sure grow up fast nowadays.
I'm often unsure whether to ask young girls if they want to see my puppies, or just ask if I can see theirs.
When bored I like to go up to strangers and tell them in a fake foreign accent “Your life is in great danger my friend!”
They usually look at me ...
I've just spent the last 43 minutes trying to fix a broken clock.
At least I think it was 43 minutes.
Richard Carpenter played the drums on all The Carpenters' albums, as Karen refused to have anything to do with drumsticks.
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