Make Christmas more entertaining by sending a Christmas card to your neighbours with things like "To the prick with the noisy dog hope you have a shite Xmas " Then sign it from an other nob of a neighbour.
I woke my girlfriend in the middle of the night and told her I was stressed and that only a blowjob would help...
She said, “Where are you going to find a cock to suck at three o’clock in the morning?
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